It’s Been the Longest Two Weeks Ever!

A prayer shawl gifted, my FIL’s walking stick and eggs from my chickens.

One year ago today I wrote in my journal: 

03/12/20 Thursday: COVID 19 is causing quite a stir. Quarantine Day 1. 

I stopped counting in my journal on “Q Day 65”. It was supposed to take two weeks to help flatten the curve and here we are, 365 days later, still figuring things out. What does one call this day? It certainly isn’t Happy Anniversary. Unhappy AnniversaryA Year to Remember or maybe Forget? 

We’ve all had plenty of time to be with ourselves, by ourselves, learning about ourselves. What did you gain? What did you lose? What did you like? What did you not? What have you changed? What has stayed the same? What did you miss? What didn’t you miss? What have you discovered about yourself? Your people? Others? Church? God? What did you learn you could do even when you didn’t think you could? 

There’s no way to answer all these questions in one 1,000-word post. I’m still perusing them in my head, as well as others. (My mind is in need of some garden therapy, truth be told. Soon, dear heart. Soon.) 

There is something God began teaching me a couple years ago that perhaps I didn’t appreciate until these past 12 months and that is the art of finding sacred in the simple, of learning to lean into the ordinariness of every day and being grateful for hallowed simplicity. 

The smell of fresh bread baking. 

The way the light shines across the wood floor in late afternoon. 

The first tiny green bean. 

Eating a tomato fresh off the vine. 

The ticking of the grandfather clock. 

The daffodils breaking through the cold ground of winter. 

Gathering eggs each day. 

Homemade pizza. 

A lit candle.

I could go on, but you get the picture. 

This past year has me longing for more as well. More prayer and less scared. More tradition and less thrill. More depth of teaching and less fluff. More cathedral and less concert. More being and less doing. More transformation and less information. More faith that is unshakable and less excuses that I am unable. 

I wonder if, in my pre-covid days, I missed opportunities to serve, to be, to learn, to experience, to trust because I was looking past the simple in search of something with grandeur, something greater, a bigger stage, a wider audience? I wonder if I missed the sacred moments with God because I was making it too difficult to see what seemed like the unimportant thing? 

* * * * * * * * * *

In Exodus chapter three we find Moses doing a very routine thing on an ordinary day tending to the sheep of his father-in-law Jethro. He sees a burning bush that doesn’t get burnt up. He gets to experience the Lord out there in the middle of nowhere like no one has ever experienced him. 

The Lord has a conversation with Moses about his people, Moses’ lineage and God’s chosen ones. God sees their misery under the heavy hand of Pharaoh and wants Moses to go to Pharaoh and free the people. Moses gives God all manner of excuses: Who am I to do such a thing? What if they ask me who it is that is sending me? What if they don’t believe me. 

God has a response to every objection and the assurance of his presence. Moses still isn’t convinced. Then the Lord asks Moses this simple question: What is that in your hand? To which Moses replies, My staff. 

My staff. 

Something so familiar. Something Moses has used every single day while taking care of Jethro’s sheep. Something that is simply an extension of him after such a long period of time working in the wilderness. 

I love this. I love that God would squelch some fears with something familiar. Moses would soon become a shepherd of people and tend to them on a journey into the unknown with something known, into the uncomfortable with something comforting. 

I imagine when he grabbed hold of his staff there was familiar groove that fit his hand perfectly, reminding him that God could take this simple thing to free his people. God could take that which was in the hand of Moses and use it for his glory. 

* * * * * * * * * *

God uses the simple, the familiar to do spectacular things. I realized this past year that I’ve made serving God too complicated. I’m like Moses in many ways. When God asks me to do something that seems too hard or I make too hard, that I feel unable or inadequate to do and I just want him to leave me to tend to my things, I can hear him ask me, What is that in your hand? 

I’ve often discounted the simple things as serving. That somehow serving has to be done at church, through an organization, with much fanfare, pomp and circumstance. But in reality, God can use the ordinary to do the extraordinary when we answer his question. 

What is that in your hand? 

For me, I’m learning, it can be as simple as giving the fruits of my labor from the garden to someone as a gift because they love homegrown things. I can give a dozen of the most gorgeous blue and brown eggs as a gift. Better yet, I can bake brownies for someone using my Granny’s recipe with my fresh eggs. Or it can be giving someone something they need from out of our abundance. 

I’m learning to see the words I write as a gift given to me so that I can use them to encourage, empower and enlighten. 

I’m learning that listening to someone’s story is as holy a ground as Moses walked, a sacred space, not to be taken lightly. 

It would be easy to overlook that which has become so familiar as something God can use in service to him. But isn’t it like him when we bring our excuses to ask us the same question he asked of Moses? 

What is that in your hand? Let me show you how I can use it to free people, shepherd people, love people, direct people, feed people, stretch people, give people a drink of cold water, make a way for people. 

How would you answer that question? How could God use what you hold?

This past year was challenging. We didn’t have a choice but to sit with it and in it and endure it. And we DID! 

What has this past year of only two weeks taught you? 

kw

Other posts that might be of interest:

2020 In Retrospect

25 Bible Verses to Abide in During Anxious Times

When Life Throws You Zingers

Learning to Do New Things

Everyone meet this handsome guy, a Bar Plymouth Rock who we’ve named Rocky the Rooster. He’s the defender of the flock, the strutter of his stuff and hero to the hens. He’s our wake-up call as he sounds the alarm and his crow pierces through the fog of dawn and early morning sleep.

But it wasn’t always that way. 

When he was first learning to crow, we walked by the coop and thought we heard him trying but after listening more closely…nothing. Then one day as we were milling around outside, we heard what sounded like a teenage boy learning to use his man voice, but have it crack and go all kinds of high at the worst possible time. We giggled, knowing that a full-on cocky crow would soon be heard. 

Sure enough, after several weeks of honing his voice and warming the pipes, his cock-a-doodle-doo sounded like the professional rooster he has come to be. He crows in the morning. He crows when we feed them. (Which we like to think he’s saying, thank-you-for-my-food.) He crows when the sun is shining. And when it’s not. He’s proud of his performance. 

As he should be or at least as much as a rooster can be. 

* * * * * * * * * * *

I love to learn how to do new things, but I also want to be good at what I learn straightaway. It’s a conundrum really; this love of learning but knowing I won’t be good at it until I put the time and practice in. A lot of it. There needs to be space and grace for trial and error. 

Life is a classroom for learning new things. A cycle of seasons when sometimes it’s sunny and we’re acing every test and sometimes it’s a blizzard and we can’t see two feet in front of us. What was this teacher trying to teach us? 

Take parenting for example. When we had our first baby at the mature age of 18, we didn’t have a clue what we were doing. But we learned…quickly…what each cry meant, how to feed him, change him, bathe him and care for him. And all survived! Shew…

But then we became parents of a toddler, then a school age kid, then a junior high kid, then a high schooler, then a college kid, then a young adult, then a married adult, then a married adult with children of their own. 

We had to learn new things during each new season. Each new season felt like having to learn how to crow all over again…feeling a little garbled early on then figuring out the how to’s and what not’s and doing the thing….even imperfectly.

Take gardening as another example. In our first house I planted geraniums at the base of a big shade tree in our backyard…in mulch. My father-in-law explained the difference between sun loving and shade loving plants as well as mulch not being a good source of nutrients like rich soil. Oh, and you must water them…not just wait for rain…who knew? 

Life is a classroom.  

Last summer I grew enough food that we are still enjoying right now because I was able to can and freeze the harvest. But you know what? I’m still learning. Still experimenting. Still understanding different soils and ph levels and varieties of plants. It’s an ongoing experience of experiments. 

I’m growing a garden but I’m also growing as a gardener. Were there things I failed at? Yes. The cucumbers did terribly. Were there things I tried just to see what happened? Yes. Some worked. Some didn’t. I learned and will try again this year. 

Life isn’t pass/fail. It’s an adventure of living a life of loving to learn. It’s learning how to sharpen our skills knowing it takes missteps and mistakes to become mature enough to crow about your new-found know-how. Besides, are failures really failures if you’ve learned valuable lessons along the way? 

Take heart dear reader as will I, let’s not be too hard on ourselves as we venture out to learn new things. Let’s cheer each other on as we practice and sound like a teenage rooster learning to crow. Let’s clap loud for each other when we’re able to wake the world with our cock-a-doodle-do’s. Let’s let life be an adventure of learning new things! 

kw

Right Motive, Wrong Season

It was an unusually sunny November day, and I was cleaning out the garden boxes and tidying up some areas when I noticed this strawberry plant blooming. Because of the season I was in personally my immediate thoughts were Girlfriend (because who doesn’t talk to their plants in the garden?) what are you doing blooming this time of year? Can’t you see your buddy right there beside you with frostbite? 

I see you little strawberry flower. While I appreciate your effort, this is not the season for you. Winter is coming. 

Have you ever asked yourself, what was I thinking?  Or perhaps you got in the thick of it and simply knew this was the wrong time to be doing what you’re trying to do. You have the right motive but it’s the wrong season. 

That’s where I found myself that day, in the middle of the garden, talking to a strawberry plant.

Because God uses the simplicity of nature to teach us deeper lessons, here’s some he taught me during that season.  

Open Doors and Warning Signs

I don’t have to nor should I walk through every door opened for me or say yes to every opportunity presented. I had waited for a long time for this gate to swing wide and because of that, I ignored the warning signs, the quickening in my Spirit, and forged ahead with a Finally! attitude. 

I was like that strawberry bloom who trusted the rare sunshine on a November day but ignored the freeze warnings from the rest of the month. Ignored the dead leaves and fellow strawberry turned brown from cold temps. 

Surely, I can bear fruit in the off season, in a toxic environment, with all these warnings. It’s what I thought I was meant to do…even though winter was coming. 

Plans fail with no counsel, but with many counselors they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22CEB)

I didn’t seek wise counsel. 

Maybe it was because I was so sure this open door of opportunity was right for me because I wanted it for so long that I (arrogantly) didn’t feel I needed to ask anyone about it. 

Or maybe it was because I knew they would point out the freeze warnings and tell me to shut the door. Was this something I had put on such a pedestal, blizzard be damned, I’m moving forward? Be careful what you idolize. 

Seek counsel from someone who needs nothing from you but wants the best for you. Be thankful for open doors of opportunities but don’t ignore the warning signs or the wisdom of another. 

Waiting is Frustrating

And tiring. And discouraging. Anybody? 

You’ve prayed and waited. You’ve encouraged others and waited. You’ve watched others move forward and waited. You feel the weight of the wait and don’t know how much longer you can manage the load of it all. 

Sarah got tired of waiting and moved ahead of God. After decades of waiting for a child of her own, who can blame her really, what a mess it all became! She told her husband to sleep with her maid so her maid could get pregnant because God told them she, Sarah, would have a child so maybe this was the way because God certainly wasn’t doing anything….not fast anyhow. 

Esther understood the importance of waiting. After seeking wise counsel from her cousin Modecai, she fasted and prayed (now there’s a concept Kim) and devised a plan. She carried out said plan with patience and trusted the timing. As a result, God’s chosen people and Esther’s lineage was saved from decimation. 

Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act. (Psalms 37:7 NLT) 

Whenever I want to help God out, stop praying and start doing or get tired of waiting, it’s because I want to control the situation, I want to call the shots, send in the signals for the next play and control the clock. Instead, I need to be still. With the Lord. And not just wait but wait patiently. Sigh. 

Trust God

I can trust God because he is trustworthy. He is for me (and you) like no one else is. He has a view of my situation (and yours) from an angle we never will. He is all knowing, all powerful, ever present. He is a Father who loves me (and you) like no one is able to love us. He wants what’s best for us and we can trust him to open doors we are to walk through and warn us of open doors we are to shut. We need only pay attention. 

We can trust: 

God’s plan for us. He has one. And it’s good because he is good!

God’s timing for us. There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1NIV) 

God’s ability to do what he says he will do. With his plan, not ours. In his time, not ours. 

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. (Psalm 1:3NIV)

It took a strawberry bloom to show me that even though my motive was right, the season was wrong. She taught me to trust the warning signs and not just the whims of a sunny day. She taught me that though she got frost bit, she’s still meant to bloom. In the right season, she will bear fruit. 

kw

Squeezed Out of Our Comfort Zones (a lesson on Growth)

We’d found the perfect spot. Out back, behind the chicken coop, a field of Golden Rod and blues skies in front of us with drifts of honeysuckle sweetness floating in from behind. The hot summer day felt several degrees cooler sitting under those trees as we settled in to sip iced tea and read. 

I thought I’d head out there every day, if only for a half hour of solace and solitude. We were four months into this pandemic business with no end in sight and as much as I love my family, I need my alone time. 

Except I’d discovered I wasn’t alone. 

I went around a different way to our newly discovered thoughtful spot only to discover this guy (or girl) had left its skin behind. 

I turned right back around and headed indoors knowing there was no way I could concentrate on trying to read with no knowledge of its whereabouts. And forget closing my eyes for any type of meditation or soaking up of the sun! 

A couple weeks later, my man was shoring up the chicken coop, giving it a chic chick makeover, when he came bounding out as fast as he could scurry. Not much gives me the heebie-jeebies but I found out who wore that skin….

A couple of months later, I read this thought from Margaret Guenther’s book Holy Listening: One of the treasures in my study is the intact skin of a Virginia black snake, shed as part of the process of growth. To grow, indeed, to survive, that snake had to leave behind a part of itself. I have no idea whether the shedding was painful or a relief, but my imagination tells me that it was some of each. 

While I have no desire whatsoever to put that snakeskin in my study, we can learn a lot from this authors observance. And yes, I looked up how and why a snake sheds its skin. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

1. A snake sheds its skin by rubbing up against a rock, tree or other hard surface. It cannot get rid of the old without some friction to help it along. 

We, too, must shed skins and identities by persevering through the painful parts and pieces of life. Paul tells us it’s this suffering that produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us.  (Romans 5:3-5a NIV)

James tells us to consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:1-4 NIV)

I really wish it didn’t take trials of many kinds to help us grow but when I look back on my growth spurts, spiritually and personally speaking, it was because of walking through some hard things.

No friction. No character development. 

No character development. No learning perseverance. 

No perseverance. No faith maturation. 

No maturing faith. No hope. 

No hope. Well…you feel hopeless. 

There is purpose behind the pain of growing.

2. A snake shedding its skin allows for new and further growth. 

We are not the same people on the other side of a hard season. We are wiser, more aware, more compassionate towards others who are going through something similar and even towards those who aren’t because they simply cannot know what they’ve not experienced. 

Those who never go through some tough stuff, stay stuck in their skin-tight selves and never get to experience the joy, heartache, laughter and tears of helping someone who’s transitioning through a hard space. It gives us the maturity and understanding to be able to help others. It gives us a purpose for having suffered ourselves.

All praise to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. (2Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT)

3. A snake shedding its skin allows for the removal of parasites. 

Ewww…am I right? While we may not have actual parasites, (anyone’s head itching yet?) we do have things we need to remove or let go of because we have simply outgrown them. With the help of some friends, here is a list of just a few possible parasites:  

Relationships                                              Pretending

Habits                                                           Nick-nacks                                                   

Positions                                                      Clutter

Jobs                                                               Having to be perfect

My jeans since COVID 😉                          Saying you’re okay and you’re not               

Guilt trips                                                    Expectations of others

Previous hurts Old routines

Ideals of other people’s roles in our lives

What are some of yours?

4. The snake leaves behind a piece of its old self in order to grow/survive. 

This one is especially bittersweet since there is often nothing wrong with the old self or shed skin; it’s simply not useful to us anymore. I jest about my jeans as something I’ve outgrown (if you’ve never laid down on your bed to zip your jeans, I’m afraid we cannot be friends), but how many of us have clothes in our closets that we keep for someday when…? Those clothes we’ve outgrown? They simply do not fit anymore. 

Spiritually speaking, we hold on to our “parasites” because they are comfortable, familiar and safe. Unfortunately, that very same holding on to stunts our growth and stifles the Spirit. 

Matthew says it this way: Who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and running the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved. (Matthew 9:16-17NLT)

5. Is the shedding of a snake’s skin painful or a relief? 

I love that Margaret asks this question, to which she answers probably a bit of both. Growth feels like you’re being squeezed out of your own skin. There is pain in the process of the pressing, but the purpose of the process is a promise of perfected faith and perseverance. 

It’s both painful (the process) and a relief (the promise). 

Like the bittersweetness of letting go of an old sweater with its memories and familiarity is to accept growth and change in ourselves as a kind of departure, a leaving behind of the safe and known. It’s both painful to let go and a relief to move forward. Even more painful is trying to shrink yourself down to fit what you once were. I don’t want to be who I was ten, five or one year ago. I want to be a new and improved person, having shed the skin of that which keeps me from being completely me.

If God can use the skin of a snake to teach me such things, what can he do with you and your story? God will use that squeezing, those scars, that pressing down, those questions and desperate prayers for a purpose you can only imagine in your wildest dreams! 

kw

PS I will not be putting a snakes skin in my office…even so. 

You might also enjoy reading:

A Parable of the Peony

Into the Wilderness

How to Rest in the Unrest

Weary.

That’s the overarching message I’ve heard from the many conversations I’ve had with people this month alone. It’s not from one thing but layers of lots of things: covid fatigue, polarizing politics, racial issues and riots are the big dogs but underneath are these puppies: job change or loss, grief, health issues, marriage issues, kid issues, family issues, yearning for normalcy, missing people, working from home while helping your kids learn virtually, the wondering of when or if things will get better. The list goes on and on. 

All wearying. 

How do we do it? How do we fill our buckets in such a life draining world?  How do we find rest in all this unrest? 

Disconnect.

From social media. News outlets. Screens. Phones. Scrolling. Even if it’s for a day, an evening or an hour. Stop scrolling through. Stop getting ticked off at people’s opinions. Stop checking your phone every few minutes. 

We don’t have to or need to be available around the clock.  We don’t have to or need to fill our minds with a constant barrage of bad news, I-know-better-than-you, you-have-no-clue recordings on repeat. We don’t have to have an opinion on every post or a comment on someone else’s quandary. 

The more we are wired to what wires us out, the more wired we become. Unplug from it all. The world will keep spinning…I promise.

Reconnect.

With God…develop some spiritual practices that fill your bucket. Meditate, pray, be still, listen, read a verse or two…don’t make it another thing to check off but instead something that fills you up. 

With nature…walk outside, feel the sunshine on your face, breathe in the crisp air, walk in the grass barefoot, get your hands in the dirt, listen to the birds, be a noticer of new growth, smell the leaves. 

With friends…yes, I know it’s hard right now, but I had the most wonderful time catching up with a friend even though it was virtually. My sister and I actually called each other and talked on the phone…remember those days? It was great catching up and hearing her lol…not just read it on a text! 

Mind Your Mind.

Think about what you’re thinking about. It’s easy to get caught up in negative thinking…especially these days…and forget our hope is not in those things that are around us but in Who is looking over us. 

What are you allowing in…please reread “disconnect.”

Mind Your Time.

We all need margin in our schedules for rest. In his book Weird, Craig Groeschel says, “One of the foundational lies we’ve absorbed about the value of busyness is that it indicates our spiritual worth.” He goes on to say, “We must discern what God calls us to accomplish rather than mindlessly adding on everything presented to us.” 

He challenges the reader to keep “an or in the water to keep our boat from sinking.” As in, stop doing this AND that but rather do this OR that. I’ve had to make a choice between some really good things that would have ALL been great fun to do but would have put me on the fast road to burn out. 

One positive about the pandemic shutting us down last year was that it cleared our plates of so many things that we now have control to put back on…or not. We get to choose. We are foolish to think we can keep going 100MPH with no margin to rest and never hit a wall. 

Permit yourself a nap with no guilt. Look through a magazine. Allow yourself time to do nothing at all and enjoy it!

Be Present in the Present.

Anybody else worry about what was? Anybody else worrying about what could be? I get it. But when we do that, we miss the here and now, the person right before us, opportunities to reach out and touch those in our present presence. 

When we are always mentally elsewhere, we miss moments that can never be given back. We miss time with our family and friends, sharing the lives we are living right now. It takes practice and purposefully positioning ourselves in the present. 

Be Present in His Presence.

I’ve been trying to practice this more and more these days. Being still. Paying attention. Listening. Not making my time with the Lord just something I do to check off my list and feel accomplished….like a good Jesus girl “should do.” But rather experiencing His presence throughout the day in the way the light shines in my office in the morning or a text comes through from a friend at just the right moment or watching as someone has an aha moment because of something you said. 

All God things that I would miss if I’m not practicing being in His presence. He’s right there…wanting you to notice that He’s with you wherever you are. 

Practice Gratitude.

It sounds corny but if you’re brave enough to try something so simple in this complex world, you’ll see it makes a difference. Gratitude gives you eyes to see our surroundings through a different lense and a heart to see others in a different light. 

“No amount of regret changes the past. No amount of anxiety changes the future. Any amount of gratitude changes the present.” (Ann Voskamp)

Practice Grace.

Grace defined: elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion or action. A pleasing or attractive quality. Favor or goodwill.

Synonyms for Grace: decency, decorum, finesse, poise.

To the Mom trying to spin so many plates…practice Grace. 

To the Dad trying to work from home with a toddler in your lap…practice Grace.

To the married couples who are suddenly with each other 24/7…practice Grace. 

To the congregants learning to worship online while your church staff is trying to figure out how to be online…practice Grace. 

To the people who are of opposing views…practice Grace. 

To those who are experiencing covid fatigue…practice Grace. 

Man do we need everyone on the team uniformed up and ready to give it their all with this one. Not just to each other but also to ourselves. 

Breathe.

No seriously. Deep breathing (in for 4 counts, out for 4 counts) calms your nerves, reduces stress and anxiety, improves your attention span and decreases pain. It also makes you slow down and concentrate. 

I had my ladies in Bible study do this at the very beginning of each time we were together. It allowed them to “switch hats” and be present in the moments we were with each other. 

I have my clients for spiritual direction do this at the beginning of each session to clear their minds and allow themselves to slow down. One client said, “Wow! I didn’t realize how long it had been since I too some deep cleansing breaths. That was refreshing!” 

We’ve been holding our breaths in anticipation for many things over this past year. So, yes, breathe! In…1, 2, 3, 4. Out…1, 2, 3, 4. And again. 

How do you rest in the unrest? What are some practices you do to fill your empty bucket? 

kw

If you enjoyed this post, you may enjoy:

When Life Hijacks Your Joy

3 Things You Can Do When Life Keeps Happening

A Prayer for the Worn Out and Overwhelmed

Ten Things I Learned During My Social Media Sabbatical

A Vineyard in the Ohio Amish country.

There’s a scene in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty movie that finds the main character, Walter, who works for Life Magazine, on an adventure to find nature and wildlife photographer, Sean O’Conner, after one of the negatives Sean had sent in for an upcoming edition went missing.  

Walter finds Sean high atop a mountain in search of a snow leopard. They are side by side sitting behind a camera with a lens that could count the spots and whiskers of said cat. Sean is looking through the lens when he pokes Walter to look too. There she is, the most beautiful and rare of all snow leopards. Sean looks back through the lens then sits there in silence. 

When are you going to take the shot? (Walter asks) 

Sometimes I don’t. If I like a moment…I mean me, personally…I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it. 

Stay in it. (whispers Walter)

Yeah. Right there. Right here.

Yeah. Right here. 

How many moments meant just for me have I missed because I was looking to shoot a shot for everyone else? 

How many moments have I missed because I was busy bustling to the next beat instead of being right here

Whoa. Let those questions sink in a minute as you ask yourself the same thing. 

I realized a lot over the past month of taking a break from all things social media….

  1. Social Media is neither good nor bad but is simply what you make of it.
  2. It’s about Balance and Boundaries
  3. There’s always another idol waiting in the wings to take the current one’s place if you’re not careful. It’s about my behavior not the device/platform itself. 
  4. There is a feeling of freedom when not chained to checking your device for likes, hearts, stars, atta girls, comments and shares. My identity and worth are not wrapped around anyone else’s thoughts about me.  It’s easy to get caught in that trap! 
  5. Sometimes you have to disconnect to reconnect.
  6. Front porch swing conversations > ensuing a “comment” conversation.
  7. I don’t need to be accessible 24/7.
  8. I don’t need to answer every text, email, Marco or call at the exact moment it comes in. In fact, often times it’s better not to but instead, think about what my reply should be. 
  9. There’s no need to subject myself to everyone’s “expert” opinions all the time on everything from politics to mask wearing to corona virus cures to who’s the biggest idiot to who’s bad, who’s not…it’s exhausting to watch so why do I scroll…it’s like watching a wreck…you almost can’t not look. 
  10. There’s no need to get caught in the hustle and rush that keeps me ramped up. Hurry leads to worry and there’s no need for that. 

Bonus: 

11. It is possible to go from FOMO to JOMO. From the Fear of Missing Out to the Joy of Missing Out. 

This is a quick jot down of what I’ve learned. I’m still thinking through it…processing the pieces; seeing the affects and reading about the reason why we need rest from it all.  I do know that the break was much needed for my mind, heart and soul. I feel much more at peace and filled up. I guess you don’t realize how much social media has the ability to drain the energy from you (if you let it) until you walk away for a few weeks. 

I was worried that I wouldn’t know what was going on with everyone so I wouldn’t know what to write about. Afterall, I live a pretty ordinary life. But instead, in the stillness, I got to hear a Voice speaking loud and clear. He knows better than I the message that needs to be written; lessons that need to be learned. Staying connected to the Vine is much more important than staying connected through social media. (#12?). There’s so much more to share. 

Stay tuned. 

kw

Simple Garden Theology

I sang about it before I’d really had a chance to truly understand it. I really just wanted to hit my part of the four-part harmony. It was an old hymn from 1912, written by a pharmacist in his New Jersey windowless, damp basement, no garden in sight. C. Austin Miles must have known the garden was nothing new to God. It was a place to walk and talk with Him, to tarry and listen to the sound of His voice. A voice so sweet that even the birds stop singing. (Read about Mr. Miles and get the full lyrics of “In the Garden” here.

God and gardens go way back. In fact, He was the pioneer planter of the very first one. (Genesis 2:8) It was a beautiful place with all kinds of trees growing out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. (Genesis 2:9Rivers ran through it. Lush and plush with green goodness all around. It was a slice of heaven here on earth. 

Until a slice of “apple” was more pleasing to the eye than the rest of the entire garden. Eden taught us all about the importance of listening to God’s boundaries and the consequence thereof. It taught us the wiliness of the enemy and the ease in which we can get caught in the did God really say scenario of that serpent of old. (Genesis 3)

Vineyards, grape gardens, were commonplace in Jerusalem. In John 15, the disciple recorded Jesus’ teaching about the importance of staying connected to the True Vine in order to be fruitful. Words like abide and love, obedience and joy are found in this garden. Pruning, while seemingly harsh, is necessary for new growth and even better fruit, assuring us there is a sweetness to the process of pruning. 

Groves of olive gardens are found in scripture with life lessons growing in each. Gethsemane is one such garden. It is a place that, in Hebrew, means oil press, i.e. a place for squeezing the oil from the olives. It is here that Jesus prayed so hard that His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (Luke 22:44) While Jesus was leaning into His Father because of pressing matters at hand, the disciples were pressing into their pillows having fallen fast asleep. It was in this garden Jesus warns them to stay alert, to watch and pray so they aren’t tempted.  

God in the garden is nothing new. Garden theology 101 is still taught by the Gardener Himself…if we choose to pay attention. Take for instance…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Weeds

You can be in the thick of them quickly if you aren’t careful.

I take a bucket out to the garden with me each morning and fill it with weeds in the hopes of keeping on top of them. They multiply to the Nth degree. Or so it seems. If I’ve missed a few days, the weeds take over the rows where we walk as well as around the actual plants themselves. 

Sometimes it takes the drastic measures of the rototiller to root out the masses. While that “gets ‘er done” on a large scale and is necessary sometimes, it’s the gentler approach, on your knees, carefully removing those that are closest to the plant that takes determination and patience. 

Jesus had something to say about weeds when He was telling the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13. He explained to the disciples that the seed sown among the weeds represents the person who receives the message, but all of life’s busy distractions, his divided heart and his ambition for wealth result in suffocating the kingdom message and prevent him from bearing spiritual fruit. (v22TPT bold is mine)

Who reading this hasn’t felt suffocated by one of these? Before you know it, you’re knee deep and can’t even see the Seed that helps you grow. Start tilling in some confession, repentance, obedience to get the soil of your heart back in shape and weed free. Get on your knees and pluck gently around the more tender parts and places, listening for the sound of the Gardener’s voice that is so sweet the birds stop singing to listen. 

Water

It’s essential to a garden if you want your plants to live (duh) otherwise the plants shrivel up and die. Lately, here in the Midwest the weather has been extra hot which means morning and evening watering. 

I go out each morning and give a thorough soaking and even then, in this heat, by evening things are looking droopy and in need of an extra drink. 

Jesus had something to say to people dying (rather they knew it or not) for a drink of water. 

His first encounter is found in John 4 and is with a woman who goes to a well for water and sees Jesus sitting, waiting, as if for her. Little did she know she was about to meet a Man like no other man and boy had she met plenty of them. 

He asks her for a drink. She’s confused because He, a Jew, is supposed to hate her, a Samaritan and a woman, and yet here He is asking her for a drink. She tells Him this to which He replies, If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink and I would give you fresh, living water. (John 4:10MSG)

Again, she’s confused because Jesus doesn’t have a dipper or bucket or anything to draw water from the well, so she asks Him about it and lets Him know that she knows of spiritual things so don’t pull a fast one on her Jesus! 

Jesus then tells her, Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. (my droopy plants can testify here) Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life. (John 4:13-14MSG)

Life can often feel like a trial by fire with one thing after another coming at you. Douse yourself in Living Water morning, noon and night when it feels extra hot. 

Experiments

Every year we do some experiments in the garden. This year I grew okra for the first time which blooms these gorgeous blooms before the fruit sets on! Who knew?

I also grew my tomatoes and jalapenos from seeds. It took time and patience to baby first the seeds then the seedlings then the bigger plants that could go outside under a covered area then to the actual big plant being put in the garden, in real soil. Lots of care. Lots of learning. Lots of YouTubing “how to” videos from some fellow hippies who are much wiser than I when it comes to gardening. 

Everything is doing beautifully! I would never have known just how I could grow things if I hadn’t ventured out and taken a risk. 

Sometimes we have to trust the Lord and venture onto a new path He has set before us. In Isaiah God says, Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19NIV)

I don’t want to think about past experiments that failed, making me afraid to try again. I want to see what new thing God has for me! Springs in the desert and streams in the wasteland? Yes please! 

Maybe you’re stuck in a perpetual rut. Will you try a new thing? Who knows what flower will bloom if you do! 

Pests/Suckers/Nemesis

I walked out back a few days ago and watched a squirrel jump off the bird feeder, a chipmunk jump out of the oregano and a bunny be very, very still by the chamomile. Apparently, the JackRabbit family was in need of a soothing cuppa before bed. 

A little stroll further out into the garden and I notice the zucchini leaves turning yellow, a sure sign of the squash bug. A giant maggot looking beastly thing that worms its way into the base of the stems, hollowing them out so they can’t get the nutrients or water the plant needs to survive. A half-eaten strawberry lies just outside the box, a sure sign of the dastardly chipmunk. Doesn’t he know you don’t season strawberries with oregano? Maybe that’s why he only ate half. 

The tomatoes grow all manner of shoots off the main stem. If you don’t pinch off some of these, you’ll have lots of green leaves but very little actual tomatoes because all the nutrients and water goes to keeping those little suckers alive and well. Anybody have the life sucked out them from time to time? Pinch those suckers off! 

We have an enemy whose sole (soul?) mission is to steal, kill and destroy the abundant life Jesus came to give us. (John 10:10NIV)

We have to learn how to stop him from achieving what he sets out to do. We do this by learning his tactics and how to look for signs that he’s there. I learned that a mix of hydrogen peroxide and water sprayed on the leaves of the zucchini kill the bug (and its eggs) that burrowed its way into the heart of the plant leaving it without life sustaining water and nutrients. 

Paul talks about the armor we’re to put on every day in Ephesians 6. Remember the Vine from the intro above? Stay connected. How? Study His word. Listen to His voice. Pray. Obey. Believe. Trust. Nothing squashes the plans of the enemy like a daughter who lives like she knows who her Daddy is! 

Inspection Inspection Inspection

Every single day, I walk in the garden, looking, watching, waiting for something to happen. In fact, I do it so many times a day my family pokes a bit of fun at me. Not only am I looking for pests, suckers and my nemesis (that dastardly chipmunk!) but also new growth. 

Just when you think nothing is happening, you’ll look closely and see a bloom on the tomatoes or the tiniest green bean or a zucchini ready for picking under one of the giant leaves. 

The next day you go out and there’s a tomato where the flower used to be, a handful of green beans ready for picking and the vine of the cucumbers has somehow reached the top of the fence! How did that happen? 

It may seem “just like that” but really, I’ve worked hard tending, caring, weeding, watering, inspecting multiple times a day. 

Growth happens over time. It takes hard work and doing what we need to each day. Then “just like that” you’ll find yourself…

~ Remaining calm in a situation that would have caused you to blow your lid a few weeks ago. 

~ Feeling peace in the middle of some heavy hard stuff. 

~ Praying instead of worrying. 

~ Reaching for your Bible instead of the bottle or food or shopping or Neflix or…

~  Finding joy in a less than joyous season. 

~ Being the bigger person. 

~ Forgiving even though they didn’t apologize.

~ Practicing self-control…and succeeding.

~ Listening when you really want to react. 

~ Apologizing. 

Man. It’s so fun when you notice growth because you’ve kept the weeds at bay, when you notice you’re thirsty and go drink from the well of Living water (often), when you see a flower bloom because you weren’t afraid to try a new thing, when you’re prepared for a battle with your nemesis. 

I think C. Austin Miles was on to something…even if I can no longer carry my part in a four-part harmony. God walks with me and He talks with me and He teaches me simple theology in the garden using weeds and chipmunks. His voice is so sweet that I stand in awed silence, listening, loving, and learning. 

kw

Even When I Whisper

The Dominican Republic coast. Courtesy Mallory Wright.

Do you need something to drink? 

Silence

Hey. I’m getting some lunch. Do you need something? More medicine? Anything?  

Crickets. 

Todd walked in the room where I was lying down, crutches beside me, hip in a brace, apologizing for forgetting that I had lost my voice after the second surgery. He leaned in close to listen. 

My voice strained to speak even a whisper, to ask for what I needed to make me more comfortable, to ask for help. 

It sure feels vulnerable when you don’t have a voice, when you can’t speak loud enough for someone to hear you, when you can’t answer the questions being asked from the next room, when you can’t vocalize your needs, when you can’t speak above a whisper. 

As I laid there thinking about this, I was thankful that I had a husband who remembered, came up close to listen. 

What about God? Does He hear my whispers? Does He hear when I feel vulnerable and unable to voice my needs? Does He care? 

I believe He does.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The writer of Psalm 116 has found himself overcome by trouble and sorrow. (v3NIV) He was greatly afflicted and in dismay. (v10-11NIVHis soul was in dire need of rest. 

Maybe you can relate. We live in a world that is troubling and brings much heartache. There is much to be anxious about as we are bombarded with 24/7 news reels telling us all that is wrong in this chaotic world. 

Politics. Pandemics. People.

Riots. Rumbling. Razing. 

Voices. Vitriol. Violence. 

Death. Divorce. Damage. 

Need I go on? 

Fortunately for us the Bible doesn’t claim to lift us out of real life, a life in which trouble and sorrow and pain are so pervasive that, at times, that’s all we can think about. The Bible doesn’t sugar coat a softer life if we simply believe in Jesus. It doesn’t minimize or negate adversity. 

In fact, Jesus Himself told us that in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows…but we can have peace as we rest in Him because He has conquered the world. (John 16:33TPT)  

We don’t have a Father who sits “up there” while we struggle “down here”.

The prophet Isaiah tells us this is what the Lord says…when you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. (Isaiah 43: 1, 2NLT) 

When. Not if. 

Where is God when you feel like you’re drowning in those deep waters of despair or trying not to get burned by whatever life has thrown at you. He’s right there with you! Sometimes He allows us to go through tough seasons for reasons our finite minds can’t fathom but He never leaves us to our own devices because you and I are His beloved daughters and sons. (Isaiah 43:1NIV) 

Our Father is not distant but endearing. Even when…especially when…all we can do is whisper a prayer in the darkest of nights. The Psalmist tells us he loves the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen…(Psalms 116:1-2NLT bold is mine)

King James tells us God inclines His ear. Inclines is to stretch out, to extend, to pay attention. I love to picture a Father who stretches out beside His daughter at night when the thoughts don’t stop rolling and worry walks through her mind, setting up camp like an old friend who’s going to stay awhile. An Abba Father who extends His arms and wraps me in the biggest bear hug ever. An El Shama Father who pays attention and listens as I whisper my worries, wants and woes.  

Only a Father as great as Jehovah God can hear the voices of millions of His children who are praying to Him at the same time and yet stoop down, lean in and listen to one single whisper in the middle of the night. In the middle of the deepest waters. In the middle of a rushing river. In the middle of trying to get the smell of smoke out of your clothes. 

He hears you because He’s near you. 

Kim Wright

Not far away, somewhere “out there” in the cosmos or even in the next room. He doesn’t forget because He got distracted. 

We live in a world that roars making us feel vulnerable and voiceless.  Rest assured we have a Father who can rise above the noise and lean in to listen. Even when all you can do is whisper. 

May we remember this so then we can say as David does in Psalm 116:7Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. (NLT) 

Yes and amen. 

kw  

Breaking Up Is…

There’s an old song from 1960 sang by Neil Sedaka that has the title, Breaking Up Is Hard to Do. The song finds Sedaka pleading with a girl, asking her to remember the good times, as he knows he’ll be in misery if she leaves. I wonder how she answered his plea. Good times are great, but it takes an overall look at the relationship to decide whether or not it’s worth the time and energy to continue. 

I’m ten days in to breaking up, not with my man (whom I adore!) but with social media which in turn gives me space from my phone. Did you know there is a phobia of not having your phone? It’s called nomophobia. According to dictionary.com it’s “a term that first appeared in the results of a 2008 UK Post Office study which contracted UK research agency YouGov to study anxiety in mobile phone users. The term is a portmanteau of no, mobile, phone, and phobia.”

There’s also a phenomenon called phantom vibration syndrome which occurs when a person thinks his or her phone is ringing, dinging or vibrating when it actually isn’t. I have a friend whose arm had been amputated as a child and she talked about phantom pain or itching where her forearm was supposed to be. Same kind of thing. Only we’re talking about a phone not a limb. We’ve become so “attached” that it becomes a part of us, an extension of who we are, so much so that we find ourselves hearing or feeling things that didn’t happen. Often times it’s the reason why we are constantly checking our phone, and we don’t even realize we’re doing it. 

Bet you didn’t find those fun facts out on any of your social media sites! 

So, how AM I doing ten days into this break up?  

To quote Dave Ramsey, Better than I deserve! No really! 

The night before I was headed to the dark side of the moon, I went to bed with a sick-to-my-stomach feeling. How ridiculous is that? I went to bed wondering how I would stay connected, as if I had never had a social life prior to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. 

I have a friend, Lysa, who is traveling this road with me and shared some thoughts she wrote in her journal the night before catapulting herself into disconnection: 

Tonight I’m a little nervous.

Will I be able to let it all go cold turkey? 

How will I connect with people? 

What will I miss out on? 

How much extra time will I have? 

So, I’m not the only one. 

There are things I miss a bit like the convenience of groups and communicating or finding out things that are going on. But then my friends have actually texted or called…you know…what a phone was originally used for. And would you believe I’ve had more face to face conversations in the past ten days then I have in a long time. Porch swinging and problem solving go hand in hand. Conversations with real people tend to make you not think in black and white but in shades of grey (and more than 50!) 

I wonder if anyone misses me…which sounds so asinine to think that a grown woman would wonder this about her cyber-space friends…but I told you I’d be honest! (Cue the Pink Floyd song Is There Anybody Out There?)

I miss sharing my ordinary days because today life is anything but ordinary and I think people appreciate (and need) the simpler things. So, here are a few pics around the farm: 

There are things I don’t miss. Political agendas. Keyboard warriors. Useless bickering. Watching hamsters run on a wheel and get nowhere…but keep running little fella…you’ll win your argument eventually. Sarcasm (ahem). Hatred. Comparison. Just to name a few. 

I found that I’d developed the bad habit of waking up, rolling over and grabbing my phone to check emails, Facebook and Instagram “real quick” before my feet even hit the floor. Now I wake up, stretch and say a quick prayer to start the day. I’ve turned off my notifications (for email) at night and don’t check anything until after I’ve had some coffee and quiet time. What a difference that has made! 

The first couple of days I found myself reaching for my phone for a perfunctory peek through the land of make believe that is social media only to realize the reason was either boredom or comfort. Let’s talk about those two things for a second. 

Bored was a word we NEVER used around my Granny because she would find our behinds something to do if we dared speak the words I’m bored within her earshot and it was NEVER anything fun. So, being a “Granny” myself now, that’s exactly what I do…find myself something to do. I no longer have the excuse: I don’t have time. So much more gets done when you don’t get lost in the roll of the scroll. I read more, write more, swing more, garden more, talk with friends more.

Then there’s the comfort factor. If you read anything at all about technology addiction there is a chemical messenger called dopamine that your brain sends along a reward pathway which makes you feel good. Dopamine is comfort. Comfort (dopamine) comes when you get a like or comment or heart eyes or share or any social media notification, it’s like a validation that you’re okay, because, see how many people “like” you. Geesh. 

Now whenever I need comfort, I reach for the gallon of Chocolate Coconut Almond ice cream…oh wait…that’s a whole other level of issue…

But seriously, I’ve had to remind myself that staying connected to the Vine (John 15) is enough validation for me. I am who God says I am not because He sent a heart emoji to a Facebook post but because He sent His One and Only. We are all made in the image of God not the images we scroll through and sigh because somehow, we don’t measure up. 

Maybe that’s something you need reminded of as well.

I’m ten days in and I’ve already learned a lot about myself. And my friend Lysa? She’s doing beautifully and is surprised how little she misses it and how much she’s gotten done! Lots of good stuff that I’ll share more of after another ten days. 

Now I don’t want to paint a false picture. I love the time it frees up and it’s great to get off the dopamine roller coaster of need for likes, but when you’re a writer whose main readership comes from social media, you do tend to hum along with Pink Floyd quite a bit. IS there anybody out there? 

Breaking up isn’t as hard to do as I thought but I’m a work in progress.  

kw

Cyber-Space: the Behavior, the Bull, the Bully

Once I was let down into a deep well into which chokedamp had settled, and nearly lost my life. The deeper I was immersed in the invisible poison, the less capable I became of willing measures of escape from it. And in just this condition are those who toil or dawdle or dissipate in crowded towns, in the sinks of commerce or pleasure. (John Muir) 

Our use of technology, looking at screens and social media has been around long enough now that study results are beginning to come in, and the results do not bode well for us canaries in the coal mine. Gas is leaking and we are clueless. 

Hours of scrolling through other people’s picture-perfect lives (thank you (?) Pinterest!), being available 24/7(iPhone or iCrazy?), and round the clock news, feeding us images of war, waste and want, leaves us depleted and confused emotionally, physically and spiritually. We hear and see so much information that it’s impossible to process it all. 

And yet, still we try. We don’t shut it off even though the deeper we immerse ourselves the less capable we become of escaping it. Maybe we can’t. Maybe we’re drowning in an invisible poison we can’t see, feel or smell. We have no idea, the damage we’re doing to ourselves, our brains and dare I say, even our souls. 

Perhaps that sounds a bit dramatic but is it really?

 The Behavior

From Dr. Eva’s File

Fred sat in my office looking for help with stress management. It wasn’t his idea; it was his wife’s. She had threatened to leave him if he didn’t seek help. During the one-hour visit, Fred checked his incoming text messages five times and answered two of the four phone calls, saying first, “Do you mind? This is important.”

Does this sound familiar? Oh, we might think to ourselves, we would never do that in a doctor’s office!  Except for that one lady who had to be asked to put her phone away as she walked down the hall to her room and the gynecologists office. Maybe that’s not you but they are out there. What about when you’re out to dinner with friends or coffee with a girlfriend or at your kids soccer game or at the family dinner table? Are we more worried about getting the perfect picture of our plate than the company we’re with? Has being available to everyone else via text messaging become more important than watching your daughter play basketball or your son’s piano recital? 

Trust me, I’m guilty too. That invisible poison can’t be seen but it can sure show up in our behavior. 

Back to our friend Fred: 

From the history I was able to get, it turned out Fred, who had an “important” job, spent 12 hours a day working, including during his hour-long commute, allowing little time for exercise, self-care or downtime. 

I asked him, “What do you think you would have done if you were in this office 20 years ago when smartphones, e-mail and such did not exist?” He thought for a minute before answering, “Probably pay attention and learn how to relax!”

I then explained to Fred the consequences of an overactivated stress response system that does not have the chance to get a break, rest or relax: depression and anxiety, heart disease and hypertension, inflammatory disorders, musculoskeletal problems, memory loss, immune compromise…”Shall I continue?” I asked. (Your Brain on Nature by Dr. Eva M. Selhub pg 49) 

Bottom line? Don’t be a Fred.  Put down your phone. 

We lose valuable IQ points through the act of texting and email. The ping of notices on our phones destroy creativity, leading us down a dead-end road, blank canvas and blinking cursor. We lose profitable performance at work, treasured time with family and our recall ability is cut by half. 

Fear Fred’s future. Put down your device. 

The Bull

Scroll through any social media medium and it doesn’t take long to get the sense that everyone else’s lives are spot on. You often walk away feeling as if your kids are the only ones who mess up, your husband is the only one who snores, and you are the only one with baby fat from your last pregnancy. Did I mention my youngest is 16? 

Flipping through social media can cause problems you didn’t even know you needed to have. You’re happy with your life until you’re not because of what you think is someone else’s picture perfect. Don’t always believe what you see. 

Take for example Rachel Hollis of Girl, Wash Your Face New York Times best seller fame. She posted this picture of her and her husband on Instagram with the caption: Today on the podcast @mrdavehollis and I are talking about how quarantine has affected our, ahem, “make out sessions.” Yes. We went there. If you’re in a relationship the RISE Together podcast is just for you. 

That was on April 30th

Then, on June 8th, just 39 days later, same pic, much different message: 

Don’t think I’m picking on the Hollis’. It’s very sad that their marriage is ending. I’m not saying to put all your business out on social media for all to see and have an opinion on. But for the love, don’t talk about a “make out sesh” when the reality is your marriage is the Titanic and has been sinking for quite some time. Warning: Iceberg straight ahead!

People’s comments went from sad to mad, grieved to deceived, feeling duped and having wasted their money and time on the books, retreats and podcasts that was meant to show people how to be just like them because they are normal people just like us. 

Do no harm, but you can keep your bull.  (And using the same pic? That’s just weird.)

This is just the one example I happened to notice on Instagram. There are so many more. I’m not sure who is more foolish, the ones who think they can keep all the plates spinning or the ones who are in awe of all the spinning plates. 

And the poison just keeps seeping. 

The Bullying

Have you noticed lately how many more experts we currently have living in the United States? A pandemic happens and suddenly everyone has M.D. after their name. Racial tensions are high and presto, people have a degree in sociology: the study and explanation of society and human interaction. 

Who knew? Social media is filled with doctors, lawyers, PhD’s in sociology and anthropology, and authorities on race relations. All manner of opinions. All opinions are, of course, based on solid facts from Facebook finds. Wait. What? Facebook isn’t the best resource for fact finding?

When really all they have is a Bachelor’s in Bullying. 

Keyboard Warriors who can rip apart a person they don’t even know faster than Superman can fly. That speeding bullet kills relationships, friendships and families; leaving them beaten, bloodied and bruised. All in the name of thinking you’re right about something you may have no idea about. And yet, they click their keys, spew their venom, close their computer and care not the damage they’ve done. 

Warrior indeed. Whimp more like it. 

According to Dr. Eva SelhubSocial media was supposed to link us together. Yet, for all the talk of connectivity via gadgets, it does not seem to be translating into a more caring world, at least not in North America. The ability to exhibit an emotional response to someone else’s distress have dropped 49 percent since 1980. Perspective taking, an intellectual understanding of another person’s situational and individual circumstances, has declined by 34 percent. (Your Brain on Nature pg 43) 

In other words, we stop caring about people and care more about our personal perspective, purview, and productivity. 

Compassion be damned. I’ll show them because I know I’m right! Who cares if I don’t know you! You’re an idiot, obviously!!

What a sad existence it must be to be a keyboard warrior, an internet bully, always pushing people around in a pretend world. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

How do I even wrap this up? None of us control the bull or the bullying. But we can control the behavior. It may not be as easy as you think. According the Dr. Eva…

Although not official diagnoses yet, “Internet addiction” and “digital-device addiction” are terms batted around by the medical community. Currently, (this book was published in 2012 so I imagine this number is higher) 42 percent of Americans flat-out agree with the statement that they “cannot live without” their mobile phones and more than half of adults also state that both they and their kids spend too much time online. (Your Brain on Nature pg 48) 

Addicted? I’m not addicted. You’re addicted! 

So, the behavior is to not be like Fred and instead put down my phone. If Facebook makes me furious, why not give myself the freedom to take some time and spend it with real family and friends instead of virtual ones? If Instagram feels more like Image-gram, then why keep scrolling when I can be strolling through nature instead? 

Control the behavior. It’s what I’ll be doing in the month of July as I take a respite from all things social media. I’ll be writing about the experience of the experiment as honestly as I can. No one likes to think they’re addicted to something, especially the pings on a phone from a message or the likes or the comments….they say it’s like a hit of dopamine. Maybe that’s the invisible gas of our day. Sigh…

Finding sacred in the simple. It’s been my mantra for quite some time. That’s where I’ll be if you need me.

And making sure the canary still sings. 

kw